Biston Betularia (pepperedmoth) wrote,
Biston Betularia

Call-bell Bebop

I snagged a sandwich at the cafeteria today around hour ten of a twelve hour shift. Things were slowing down, but I still had to sneak bites of sandwich in between transcribing orders and dispensing pain medication.

Just as I took a particularly juicy mouthful, a bathroom alarm went off. I knew what that meant- a patient needed help getting off the toilet. I rushed to their door, then paused. Few things are less pleasant than cleaning intimate areas while masticating a large mouthful of turkey on rye.

I began chewing as fast as I could. The call bell above my head seemed to be ringing in sync with my jaws. In this spirit, I began bobbing at the knees as well, keeping time. Ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop.

One of my favorite nurses came down the hall, saw me, and grinned. She struck a pose reminiscent of a tango dancer. Just then another light went off, forming a syncopated rhythm. There was nothing for it- we burst into an interpretive dance. Ba dada doop, ba dada DOOP! She whisked an imaginary rose from between her teeth. My right hand sailed towards the ceiling, and my left foot extended in a graceful arabesque.

Just then someone called my name from behind my back. It was the wife of another patient, and she did not look amused. One hand was on her hip, and her foot was tapping the floor. "Are you going to come in and take care of my husband?" she demanded.

I gulped the last bit of sandwich. "Just a moment!" I said, and ducked into the room.
Tags: nursing

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